How To Get Your Valentine's Hookup To Leave Your House

Monday was Valentine's day, and yeah, you were feeling a little lonely. You went out with friends, you got tipsy, you met a guy who seemed perfectly nice. Actually, a little too nice. But, you figured, better to sleep with a guy who's too into you than to sleep alone tonight. But now, it's three days later…and he's uhhh, still here. You tried the Midwestern knee slap and "welp I better…", you tried saying "y'know, I've got a lot to get done, and I really like solitude when I work…", you even tried taking several really long showers--in a row--in hopes he'd get bored and leave. He's not taking the hint, so what can you do? Well, you've got options. Here's some suggestions…

01
White Fang

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02
Subliminal messaging

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03
Have him get the mail

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04
Creepy child actor

via The Sun
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via Getty Images

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